Worth It
by Daelda
Summary: After the Battle of the Bands incident, Zoe returns to New York for a couple of weeks, but detangling from Wade is more difficult than she plans for.
1. Chapter 1

"Look, I held off calling you as long as I could. I really think you need to come home. It's about Wade."

"Lavon, I've told you I can't deal with all of that right now."

"Zoe, he's gone. Nobody knows where he is."

I paused, confused by that statement. "So?"

"He left the reception early and he hasn't been back to the gatehouse since. It looks like he stopped by there that same night, but other than that, no sign of him. George was telling me about what happened before they left the bar in Mobile and… Well… nothing can justify what he did, but you still might want to hear it."

I hesitated. It was hard enough knowing about it even happening, much less think about it in any other light. Anger was my only defense and removing that seemed risky. "…Is George there?"

"He's right here. I'll put him on."

There was a shuffling noise and then George's voice. "Zoe, you've gotta know that I hate what happened, and I thought for sure I was mistaken when they left."

"George. What happened?"

"I don't know what caused it, but he got started way before the battle got rolling and it was bad by the time they got up to perform. Afterwards he started telling me that…"

"Wait, so he fired you and then you guys were just buddies again?"

"He was pretty out of it. I came up to him and apologized for what happened with us and the night. The point is, he started telling me how he didn't know why he tried – at anything. Started rambling on about the band and the bar and you and all these things he oughta be, but screwed up every time. Said he was a deadbeat and tired of people believing in him because it was a waste of time. It sounded like something must have happened beforehand?"

"No, I mean we fought, but I made it up to him. Even gave him a… sign…" Now that I was thinking about it, he did act really oddly when I gave it to him. Everything was fine until I revealed it. I thought he was just touched, but in hindsight maybe there was more.

"What are you talking about?"

"I gave him a sign, George. For his bar, you know? Told him how much I believed in him reaching his dreams and all that. It was a big gesture on my part – backing him fully. Are you saying he freaked out because of that? Even if that's it, he probably just needs some time alone."

"Zoe, I'm talking about why he cheated in the first place, not that you need to see that necessarily. My point is that he did it to push you away. To speed the inevitable, but it was a mistake and we both know he sees that. Even I can see that."

Another quick shuffle and then Lavon's deeper voice resounded through the connection, "Maybe you're too far on the inside to see this, but Wade loves you. He loves you and he lost you. Now, he thinks he's not good enough for somebody like you and that's why he did it. I don't care if you accept that or not, but you have to know it right now. It's been almost two days and nobody's even seen his car. Being honest, I don't know what he's doing and it has me really worried."

"Zoe," Lavon said, hesitating for my sake, "That gun of his, did he ever find somebody to buy it?"

I froze, unable to comprehend what he was suggesting. My brain was devoid of any answer. I tried to process memories from that last week for any mention of it, but nothing came to mind. This couldn't be happening. I knew he was having a hard time with my reaction, but it didn't seem nearly this big…

"Zoe!" He said again, drawing me back.

"I… I don't know. I don't think he mentioned anything about that… and I didn't see a car, but that doesn't mean anything, right?" All the sudden panic was rising in my chest. I couldn't be here another minute. "Lavon, I'm coming. Even if I have to bribe a taxi from Mobile, I'll be there. Holy…"

"I'll have Lemon or AnnaBeth come get you. Just text me when you'll land."

"Okay" I said, voice shaking now. My hands were already digging through drawers and gathering the few things I'd brought with me. Stuffing them into my bag, I called the airlines and found a flight into the area that left in an hour. I booked it as I rushed into the bathroom to gather the things I'd left there before grabbing my purse from the counter.

"Where are you going in such a rush?" My mother asked abruptly from the couch.

"I have to get back to Bluebell," I rushed, "I can't explain now, it's too much, but my flight leaves in an hour and I can't miss it. Oh my gosh, I can't even breathe…"

Worried, she stood up. "Look, I'll take you. It's faster that way. You really ought to sit down for a minute and relax. Is it one of your patients? It everything alright?"

"Thank you!" I gasped as she grabbed the keys and led me down to the garage. "Yeah sort of. I don't know… I just really need to be there."

"Oh my gosh… No no no no." I was gasping as I fell down on my knees beside him. I thought finding him propped up against a tree was a blessing, but he was completely unresponsive. "Lavon!" I screamed, trying to find a pulse in his wrist, but my own heart was pounding too hard to feel anything but my own hands shaking. "No… no no no no no…." helpless panic flooded down my face and I found myself completely useless.

Lavon came crashing through the trees and dropped down beside me. He reached up and felt his forehead. "No gun, plenty of bottles though. We've got to get him out of here."

"I can't even…"

"It's okay, Zoe. I need you to help me get him up."

I nodded mutely, all control over the tears lost. I helped Lavon hoist him over his shoulder and followed him helplessly as we started back through the woods.


	2. Chapter 2

I sat balled-up in the furthest chair from the bed, listening to the heart monitor and watching Wade's chest rise and fall slowly. For some reason I couldn't take my eyes off him. The doctor part of me made it worse. I knew the risks. No matter what the nurse said, it wasn't a good sign that he wasn't awake yet. I'd never been so confused in my life. I didn't even know how to begin recovering from the betrayal, but at the same time I was so incredibly scared of losing him. If what George said was true, which I knew it was, it healed the most betrayed part of me – the part that was shocked because I'd always felt Wade was more committed than me. He'd always been enough for me. That night he went off on me about doing what made me happy I'd put all those other expectations out of my mind. I should have told him all I wanted was him, just as he was.

He shifted slightly and I froze, unsure if I should be elated or dreading this encounter, but feeling both parts in no small amount. His expression turned from blank to confused and slowly he opened his eyes to take in his surroundings.

Like someone with stone limbs, I pulled myself out of the chair. "Hey…" I whispered, crossing my arms over my chest to repress the gnawing feeling that returned as I went to stand closer.

His brows knit together, "Zoe? What's…?" Some memory seemed to kindle in his mind and displeasure moved across his features. "How did you find me?"

"Blind luck…" I smiled half-way, knowing the relief was going to take over, even as it welled in my eyes.

"Are you okay?" He whispered, reaching out a comforting hand to stroke my forearm in concern.

Of course I wasn't okay. I wasn't okay long before this drama. I couldn't choose a feeling anymore, so scared and relieved. Unsure, I simply erupted into tears again that I wished he wouldn't see. He pulled me onto the bed and wrapped me up in his arms while I cried.

"Zoe, I'm so sorry. You've got to know that it meant less than nothing." He said after a minute.

"You don't have to explain it," I murmured. "I understand."

"No, you have to know that I love you. I really do. I have for a long time. It just feels like I fight for you an awful lot. Back before we got together I knew it was meaningless for you. I was just some fun on the side, and even afterwards I was just a placeholder for George and… don't deny it, please." He shushed me. "I just ignored it, like it would go away; because, you meant so much more to me."

"I told you that changed."

"I know. You said it, but see, it was already in my head – had been for a long time. Even if we had a good thing, it was going to end sometime. You said it yourself, we're too different."

"Stop," I told him, sitting up to look him in the eye. "I didn't mean to freak you out that night. Remember when you told me to stop living my life from the outside, and just do what makes me happy? I really took note of that. I love you for you, exactly like you are. I changed my picture, Wade. And the sign wasn't because I needed you to be more. It was because I know you want the bar to happen and I'm behind you 100%. I always will be. I'm serious about you and me, no matter how different we are. I just want to put this whole thing behind us."

"Is that even possible?" He frowned.

An earnest nod while I leaned closer answered the question. There was no part of me that was willing to move out of his orbit – the one I never realized I had belonged in all along.

"As in… forgotten? All of it…?" He looked at me quizzically, as if I was laying some sort of trap.

"Everything. I'm serious. I didn't like it; you didn't like it. We're both on the same page now and to be honest I don't want to crawl out of your arms."

He laughed and pulled me tighter, breathing a deep, happy sigh into my hair. "I'm all in, Zoe. I'm serious: I love you and that's not ever gonna change. I freaked out, but I'm never going to make that mistake again."

"M'kay" I muttered.

A few minutes later a nurse poked her head through the door. "Ms. Hart, you have a call waiting." As I detached myself slowly and got up, she continued. "Do you mind if I let some more people in here? Two gentlemen especially want to see you. Lavon Hayes and someone named Earl?"

"Sure, send 'em in."

I smoothed out my hair a little and leaned down to kiss him before leaving. Something between us clicked and particularly in that kiss I could feel it – open hearts, the kind I think I'd really been called towards my whole life, even if I didn't know it until now. Releasing his hand, I joined the nurse out in the hall and followed her directions toward a general use phone.

"Hello?"

"Zoe?" came my mother's voice.

"Yeah, it's me. Sorry for running out on you like that. There was kind of an emergency here."

"Did it all work out alright? You sound exhausted."

"Yeah…" I smiled, "it was rough, but it did."

"That's wonderful to hear, dear. Are you flying back out, or are you going to stay there?"

"I'm going to stay. This is really where I belong."

"But what about Wade, dear? Are you going to be alright?" She fretted.

I didn't even know where to begin with my mother, so I opted for the short version. "We worked things out actually… We both recognize it was a mistake, and long story short we're stepping past it."

"You're back together?!"

I was too relieved by the whole thing to cringe at her response. "Yeah, I know it seems crazy and it's hard to explain everything that's happened since I got here. We're not perfect, and I guess nobody is, but we're going to make this work. It means a lot to me."

"Okay…" She hesitated. "I guess your father and I seemed pretty perfect for a lot of years and look what happened to us. Perfect is probably overrated. I won't say I'm not hesitant, but I'm also not there. Do what you think is best and I'll trust you on it."

"Thanks, Mom. I don't know what I would have done without you; I really don't."

When I came back to the room I found Earl hanging in the background while Lavon chastised Wade. All of them glanced up at me as I shut the door and a smile played up a corner of Wade's lips that I knew was just for me. Maybe it was letting him off too easy, but somehow this felt right – like despite all of the heartache, we'd never been closer or understood each other so well.

"Seriously, how on Earth would I get anything done? You're the one who actually keeps my place together. I'd have to hire people."

"Or just get a new tenant."

"Yeah, well…" Lavon looked back up at me and I knew he was evaluating me in some way, but the verdict was unclear. He was good at hiding those. "You gonna need a ride back to the airport, Zoe?"

Shaking my head, I stepped further into the room. "No, that was my mother on the phone asking the same thing. Guess I left my cell someplace. She was just worried when I ran out on her like that. We got it straightened out."

"You sure? I can always take you back."

"No, Lavon, it's really okay. Leaving in the first place was a mistake." I added, casting a side-long glance at Wade. He would have no idea about my little trip, although it was probably easy to guess its cause. Lavon's verdict still wasn't in, but he gave me a curt nod and turned back to Wade.

"Well, let me go see how they're coming on that paperwork. I'd rather not be here all night and you should be getting some rest."

As he left, I noticed a strange look on Earl's face; like he was thinking really hard on something specific. Wade didn't seem to notice it, just closed his eyes and leaned his head back as I walked over to stand beside him, opposite Earl. He had to be exhausted. Alcohol poisoning wasn't exactly getting run over by a semi, but it had almost been enough.

"You really did it this time, didn't you?" George's voice filled the room as he and Tansy came in and Wade came back to attention.

He let out a sort of half-hearted laugh. "You have no idea, Tucker."

"You scared us all to death, you know. Don't think I'm gonna let you off easy."

"Seeing me in this get-up isn't enough for you?"

We had to laugh. The hospital gown was less than attractive, I had to admit.

"Not a chance, but it helps your case a little."

"Anything that helps, I guess" Wade smiled and wrapped an arm around my waist, pulling me closer to the bedside. "I guess somebody has to be tough on me" he teased.

I knew George wouldn't be okay with me letting him completely off the hook, but then again, it wasn't George's relationship. And he had started me on this path anyway.

"That's my job, right?" he grinned. "If you pull another stunt like that I just might have to quit. You scared the hell out of me and I can't keep doing this."

"Trust me, I don't think you'll have to. Actually, this kinda started as an identity crisis in the first place. I'm not that guy anymore."

"Really?" Tansy jumped in, probably more for my benefit than Wade's, "You managed to end up here. Seems pretty clear which path you picked."

With a sadly humored expression, he replied, "Yeah, but it just proved that things are different now. Hell, the fact that I almost got myself killed with the guilt at least says something. No, this is the end of the road for that guy."

"World, watch out!" Earl exclaimed softly, reminding us all of his presence. "The boy always had a brain and a heart, if he could only catch them."

It was obvious Wade didn't even know what to say. Something special was passing between them – something I didn't quite understand. I glanced back at Tansy for a read, and was glad to see that she was at least pondering something. Her support mattered to me for some reason and I wanted her to see that regardless of what happened with her, Wade wasn't a complete nobody. She would probably freak out if she knew exactly how much I thought of him, but I wanted her to know it all the same.

The door opened behind again and Lavon reentered, followed by Doctor Hahn who had been in earlier.


	3. Chapter 3

"Hey, you. Checking up on me?" He smiled, finishing off the bar with a rag as I came up.

"I just had a break and thought I'd take the opportunity to come see you." I said as we met at the end of the bar. After a quick kiss I continued, "I missed you. Yeah, I know ridiculous. It didn't used to be like this you know. I used to be a fine, normal girlfriend and then…"

"Then what?" He grinned ruefully, dangerously close. The nearness alone made me lose my train of thought, gone in a melody of his smell and his warm breath on my skin.

I struggled to hold onto that thought. "Then …then you started doing stuff like this!" I whacked him and took the opportunity to pull back a little so as not to look like a completely love-stricken puppy in front of the entire town.

"You know I'm okay, right?" he said earnestly, "I thought we established that last night. Or are you asking for more of a confirmation? The last one might be hard to beat." He was doing it again; drawing me back in like a damn magnet. "You know I'm on a break in fifteen" he tempted.

"Oh, I know you're fine. I'm a doctor, remember? And besides that, I was also definitely there last night; although the offer is tempting all the same…"

A familiar voice cut in, startling me after talking in hushed voices. "Well, well… I've been in Bluebell less than an hour and I already caught the talk of the town." I jumped back a little, embarrassed. I really did try to avoid that proximity in public, it just didn't work very well.

"Jesse… what a joy." Wade mocked. "This day just got a whole lot better, didn't it?"

I squeezed his hand and went to sit at the bar, where Jesse joined me. "What brings you into town? It's been a while!"

"Apparently nothing. Earl said you were busted," he glanced at Wade. "Said I might regret not coming."

"Well, you've seen me. Crisis averted."

"As long as I'm here I might as well catch up, right?" He asked innocently enough. The poorly hidden scowl on Wade's face almost made me laugh a little, but at the same time the awkward irony of the situation wasn't lost on me. "What happened anyway? I definitely didn't expect to see you up and going so soon. Hell, Dad made it sound like you were dyin!"

"Yeah, well, like I said, crisis averted. I'm fine. Don't you ever pick up a damn phone? Dad said he was gonna call and tell you to just stay put after all."

Jesse shrugged noncommittally, "He never did, shocker I know.


	4. Chapter 4

Before I was halfway up the path I caught sight of Jesse on his way inside, and unfortunately he caught sight of me too.

"Hey, doc. Hear I was in town? Come to see me?" he winked.

"Not a chance. I came to talk to Earl actually. Is he here?"

Jesse shook his head sadly, "Still keepin out of people's business? Visitors don't count you know."

I rolled my eyes as I finished crossing the distance. "Doesn't matter! Is Earl here?"

He acted wounded for a moment before gesturing toward the door. "Right inside."

The interior of the cabin was lighter than usual and I realized I'd only ever been inside during the evening. Even so, it felt like Earl had more shutters open than usual and though the dusty smell and appearance remained, it seemed a lot more cheery than I remembered.

"Hey Zoe, what brings you all the way out here?" a voice said from the kitchen doorway.

"Earl! Perfect; I came to check in on you actually."

He nodded thoughtfully and we moved over to sit on the musty couches as Jesse took a chair at the small wooden table that adorned the right wall after snagging a beer like the one in Earl's hand. Lighter – like what Wade drank. I hoped that meant he was less drunk today.

"So," he opened lightly, "What brings a pretty lady out to see me?"

I glanced hesitantly at Jesse, unsure if Earl would be as open to talking about whatever it was that had him so bothered at the hospital. "Just wanted to talk; figure out where you're at, how you're doing. That was rough there for a while."

Earl shrugged. "You have no idea. I don't do hospitals normally – bad memories – but that was an… unusual situation."

"You're talking about Wade?" Jesse asked for confirmation, to which Earl nodded. I could tell he was uncomfortable with his son's presence, but he didn't look much more squirrely than usual so I figured Jesse probably wouldn't notice.

"Did you know what was going on or did it come out of nowhere?"

"No, I knew he was freaking out. He was in bad shape when we talked, but I didn't figure he'd do anything that crazy. What about you? I'd heard you left."

"I did." It felt so distant now, even though it was only a few days. "I went back to New York."

"Fer life?" Earl asked, somewhat stunned.

I didn't know how to answer that. "I don't know. I hadn't planned that far ahead to be honest. I was sort of just running. I'd only been there a day and a half when I got the call; took the first plane I could catch and got here as fast as I could."

"Wait, wait…" Jesse stopped us. "You'd fly all the way back out for a patient? You've got to fill me in here. I mean I thought I knew what was going on, but this is like a whole 'nother story."

Suddenly I felt abashed. How exactly I was supposed to tell him I was crazy attached to his brother, who I'd had an all-out fight with in the middle of the woods while on a date with him instead, I had no idea. How do you even relay how much had gone down between us in the last year, much less last night?

Earl scratched his head and grinned ruefully at me, like he was about to expose a secret he was very proud of and knew I was self-conscious about.

"It's not nearly that simple…" I cut in, but stumbling over where to start, I paused again.

"It's a little more than a doctor-patient relationship, wouldn't you say, Doc?" I could feel a little heat rising up my neck, but he continued, "You tried the very friendly neighbors thing for a while, right?" He was smiling from deep in his soul, despite the teasing, and I couldn't keep a straight face with the awkwardness.

Jesse looked shocked. "Whoa, whoa, so you and Wade…? I thought you guys were at each other's throats the last time I was here…"

"We were. He drives me crazy. And definitely vice versa. You caught us at our worst."

"But you're talking like… serious tension kinda crazy. I probably should have seen that coming. I guess it wouldn't be that weird for him." He laughed. It was a mocking laugh that rubbed me the wrong way.

"No, this isn't that." Earl threw out there. "This is…"

"Something we were… are… very invested in."


	5. Chapter 5

"Hey, I know you only got a minute, but I wanted to tell you somethin. Its kinda better that you're in a hurry anyway, because I don't want you to respond – at all, actually. I just wanted to put it on the table. Thing is, I know I told you I love you – have forever. But that whole …Battle of the Bands thing, its cause I was scared to death of you walkin out on me and leavin me all strung out on you. But that's changed. I'm sick of always lookin on the outside and watchin my back, but pretending I'm not.

I'm all in, Zoe. Truth is, there's nothin I wouldn't do for you. Remember me talking about that picture in your head? I've never had one. Not a single clue what I wanted from life, but I do now. And it means too much to me to devalue it by always waiting for something to get in the way. I don't really care what the future looks like as long as you're in it and I am all in. No reservations. No masks. I just love you. And man do I love you…"

I opened my mouth to respond, but I didn't have a clue what to say.

"Don't. I'm serious. You don't even have to respond later. I just wanted you to know that. Okay Babe, I gotta run, but I'll see you later, right?"

I nodded mutely.

The door swung shut with a loud clack and Wade looked up from where he was strumming on his guitar, a simple, happy-to-see-you smile on his face. How I even got here in life, I had no idea.

"Wade, were you serious today? Like, was that even real?"

"Yeah, of course it was," he said, setting the guitar aside and coming to hug me hello. "I think you should know that I'm not screwing around. I'm serious about this."

"Okay, but what does that mean? What are you changing? I'm confused."

He turned and waved at me to follow him as he headed for the little kitchen unit in the back. "I'm not changing anything, Doc. You're still you – annoying as ever, and I'm still me – whatever the hell that is. And we're still us like we have been from the beginning."

"So…"

"The thing is that now, or I guess whenever, we got options. We can have whatever kind of future we want. Nothin's off limits. I don't have one foot out the door anymore; stopped checking my escape routes."

"You have escape routes?" I choked.

"No. You're missing the point here, Doc." He said, turning to face me. "I was always afraid you'd leave, and maybe you still might, but even if I lose, I'm all in. Like every little bit. Everything. No defenses, no back doors open. It's just you and me."

"You would really do that? The illusive Wade Kinsella would risk it all, just for me?"

He laughed, "Hey, you're a much bigger prize than I think you know. I mean, you even tap dance, remember?" He smirked in that annoying Wade way and turned around and went into the kitchen. I followed, jumping up to sit on the counter.

"Don't use that against me, those were desperate times!" I laughed as he passed me a beer from the fridge.

"Yeah, well… Luckily, you got some other talents too." He said, grabbing one for himself. It could have been a compliment except for the mischief in his eyes.

"Such as…?"

"Like stealin electricity and blowin fuse boxes…"

"Hey! That hasn't happened in a long time!"

"Yeah, cause we're usually both in the same house now. You're also pretty great at screwing up holidays in this town. I don't remember the last time parade floats crashed in Bluebell, or when the leading lady demanded a divorce at the Founders Day Feast. Or the last time Santa left for vacation on Christmas Eve."

"That's not fair! I was only partially involved in all of those things!"

"Oh really?" He laughed, coming to stand closer. "Please tell."

"Well… for starters, nobody told me he was Santa! I thought I was doing a good thing, getting him out of work and all!"

"On the one day a year he actually works?"

"I didn't know!"

"And the parade? You jumping me halfway through doesn't mean you're blaming me, does it?"

"I was protecting a patient from a very serious injury! Although admittedly it was probably a bit much… And hey, you can't blame me for Founders Day! That was your fault!"  
>Leaning in, he said, "Oh yeah? How do you figure that one?"<p>

"You knew I was bottling things up and you just had to keep prodding me! That one was completely your fault. Don't blame me!"

"Maybe a little" He admitted, grinning with satisfaction as he came in to kiss me once quickly. Okay, twice. The second one lingered for a blissful moment.

"You know Zoe," He started softly, "you really are somethin else. Me and this town, we love you. Especially me; in fact, mostly me."

I let out a small laugh and just enjoyed his nearness. The window was open over the sink, allowing the air to feel and smell like the raw-green spring air I'd come to enjoy so much during the gentle season in Alabama. It had felt like home for a while now, but especially with Wade so close to me.


End file.
